Monday, May 4, 2009

The Old Woman in the Shoe reads Self-Help Books

Here's a fun game that Jenners has on her blog. It's called "Genre Mash up." Here were the instructions: Think of two types of books/authors/stories/genres that are wildly different. Then come up with a title of a book that combines the two -- along with a sample paragraph or two.

I love nursery rhymes and my favorite is the "Old Woman in the Shoe." Here is the original rhyme:


There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children,
she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Before you read my version, be forewarned: "It is not good." I'm not saying that because I am fishing for compliments, it really is BAD. My brain refuses to cooperate. It is not working! I think it's going through fart mode...blips that produce only air and nothing else. Since I don't know when my brain will become creative again, I decided to go ahead & post it for all the world to see!

Here is my very cheesy and not so great version of a rhyme, with a little help from Suze Orman, Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, and The Consumer's Guide To Getting a Husband.




There was an old woman who lived in a shoe who met Suze Orman who told her what to do. The old woman read the "9 steps to financial Independence" and lives in a mansion in stylish resplendence.















She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; So, she read Dr. Phil, went on the pill, and dealt with her children as best as she could.












She used to give them broth without any bread , now thanks to Rachael Ray, she cooks a better way!











Her children were tired of being whipped into bed. She knew she had to try something else instead. She read the "Consumer's Guide on How to Shop for a Husband" and decided to put a plan into action and married the next door neighbor, Jackson.





The Old Woman who once lived in a shoe, now lives in a mansion, has enough money to send ALL her children to college, is finally on the pill, cooks like a culinary chef, and married the hot guy next door all because she read a few books. THE END







Moral to this Story: Even when you know your writing sucks, write it anyway! Sometimes even bad writing can make people laugh or grimace, or snicker, or cry....






17 comments:

Beth said...

Hilarious! Better late than never to read some self-help books.

Yaya said...

Oh my gosh! That was awesome! Don't be so hard on yourself! Truly brilliant, I love it!

And Jenners is way too creative! I always see these challenges and think no way, I can't do that!

Seini Photography said...

Too funny! Way to give me a laugh this morning. Comes to show even when you doubt yourself, creative juices still flow:) Love it!

Heather said...

Oh!! GOOD JOB!! I loved it! I saw the challenge, wanted to participate and wound up with NOTHING! My creative juices have not been flowing lately. But you, my friend, you did an excellent job. :)

The Crazy Coxes said...

I'm laughing!!! And I really needed the laugh!!!

Kristina P. said...

You did a GREAT job! You are so creative!

septembermom said...

You did a great job! I'm still laughing as I type. Very creative :)

Wendy said...

that was cute! made me smile!

♫ Spasm ♫ said...

you are sooo funny and I love your writing!!!!

when ya gonna print your book?

Vaitai 6 said...

yes... I'm a believer in WRITING it anyway. Somehow your point will come across.

Sassy said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh I ♥ this...what fun...I think everybody needs to write...they just may surprise themselves...someday maybe I'll post something I wrote...I love to write but I have to say yours is much much better....


YOU ARE AWESOME!

Heatherlyn said...

Oh, that life could work out so well!

The Wrenns said...

Very creative--LMAO!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

K... that was REALLY good... are you kidding me you're awesome!

Sue said...

I love it! You are sooooo creative!!

Jenners said...

I think you are being WAY too hard on yourself! It was cute! Picking a poem is hard because then you are stuck with the rhyming problem but it was funny and made me laugh and more importantly, YOU DID IT EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T FEEL IT! I think that is the key when you are going to be writer ... to write whether it is there or not. At least you put it down -- perhaps someday you'll be inspired and be able to work on it and fix it up until you are happy. But you did it! THANKS FOR PLAYING!

Life with Kaishon said...

It definitely made me laugh : ).