The Old Woman in the Shoe reads Self-Help Books

Here's a fun game that Jenners has on her blog. It's called "Genre Mash up." Here were the instructions: Think of two types of books/authors/stories/genres that are wildly different. Then come up with a title of a book that combines the two -- along with a sample paragraph or two.

I love nursery rhymes and my favorite is the "Old Woman in the Shoe." Here is the original rhyme:


There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children,
she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Before you read my version, be forewarned: "It is not good." I'm not saying that because I am fishing for compliments, it really is BAD. My brain refuses to cooperate. It is not working! I think it's going through fart mode...blips that produce only air and nothing else. Since I don't know when my brain will become creative again, I decided to go ahead & post it for all the world to see!

Here is my very cheesy and not so great version of a rhyme, with a little help from Suze Orman, Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, and The Consumer's Guide To Getting a Husband.




There was an old woman who lived in a shoe who met Suze Orman who told her what to do. The old woman read the "9 steps to financial Independence" and lives in a mansion in stylish resplendence.














She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; So, she read Dr. Phil, went on the pill, and dealt with her children as best as she could.












She used to give them broth without any bread , now thanks to Rachael Ray, she cooks a better way!











Her children were tired of being whipped into bed. She knew she had to try something else instead. She read the "Consumer's Guide on How to Shop for a Husband" and decided to put a plan into action and married the next door neighbor, Jackson.





The Old Woman who once lived in a shoe, now lives in a mansion, has enough money to send ALL her children to college, is finally on the pill, cooks like a culinary chef, and married the hot guy next door all because she read a few books. THE END







Moral to this Story: Even when you know your writing sucks, write it anyway! Sometimes even bad writing can make people laugh or grimace, or snicker, or cry....