Saturday, March 28, 2009

Converstions that Deflate the Ego

It's been an interesting two weeks, with visits from friends and relatives from out of town, prom preparation, a few illnesses, and conversations that has left me scratching my head.

1- A Conversation with my former sister-in-law

Me: "You look uncomfortable, is there something wrong?"

Sister in law: "It's just hard to find a good bra, when you have big boobs."

Me: "I'm sorry. That really sucks"

Sister in Law: "Well, you're lucky you don't have that problem. You're really flat."


2 - A Conversation with my mother

Me: "My knees have been killing me. I'm sure if I lose weight I won't have that problem.

Mother: "Honey, I don't think that will fix the problem. You should just accept that you're getting old."

(I guess being in your 30s is really old!)

3- A Conversation with Moe

Me: "How was your scrambled eggs?"

Moe: "It was okay. Grandma makes the best scrambled eggs."

Me: "But, I make the best pasta!"

Moe: "No, not really. Nana makes the best pasta."

Me: "Is there anything that I make that you like?"

Moe: "Hmm..Let me think."

(Needless to say Moe never got around to answering my question.)

4- A Conversation with Renaissance Man as we get into bed

RM: "Hun, do you mind talking to me. I like it when you talk to me before I sleep."

Me: "What would you like to talk about?"

RM: "It doesn't matter. Every time you talk to me, it just puts me to sleep."

(Huh. And to think all this time I thought I was an interesting conversationalist)

5- A Conversation with 2 four year old girls (I teach the 4-5 year old Sunday school class) The Set up: The girls aren't paying attention in class, so I kneel down to their level and say...

Me: "Girls, please pay attention. You can talk after class."

Girl #1 - "What's that smell?"

Girl #2 - "It's her breath! (points at me)

Both girls in unison as they wave their hands in front of their nose: "Peeee Ewwww!"

(In my defense I was sucking on a mint!)

I don't talk to my former sister in law anymore. Not because of that conversation, (long story), but basically she's just not a nice person. My son has recently told me that I make the best chocolate chip cookies. My mother will always be outspoken, I have learned to let it go from one ear out the other. My husband has been kissing my butt all week. And I no longer teach those two little girls, they moved!

So, have you had any interesting conversations that left your ego two sizes smaller?


nikkicrumpet said...

ROFL...that is too freaking funny! Each time I read one I was thinking...oh man it doesn't get worse than that...and then it did lol. I read them out loud to the hubby and he was chuckling right along with me. Thanks for a fun start to the weekend!

septembermom said...

Thanks for sharing those funny stories! Sometimes you don't know how a conversation will end up. At least, RM likes to hear you talk. My husband is snoring before I get in the room!! Your sister-in-law doesn't sound too pleasant.

the eternal worrier said...

Hey I love conversation 2 and 3. I’ve also hurt my knee and refuse to acknowledge that my age may be a factor...because its not!

CDB said...

Oh my gosh, what a list!! That is unreal, what your SIL said. I hope you said, "at least I can't poke someone's eye out when they least expect it!"

H.K. said...

nikki- I'm glad you and you're hubby enjoyed reading it!

septembermom- I don't know which one will be worse..husband snoring before i get into bed or putting my husband to bed with my voice!

eternalworrier- I agree our knee problems is not the result of age! It could be anything weather, diet, pestering mothers...

cdb- LOL! I wish I said that to my SIL!

Kristina P. said...

Wow, with friends like that, who needs enemies? I think you need a Snuggie to cheer you up. :)

Rhonda said...

Ahhh... sorry...some people have either horrible timing, or horrible manners. Now, when they have BOTH at the same time, that makes for some pretty dumb comments.

Hope you have a great weekend and come and visit me again.

Tammy said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that deal with those conversations!!!

My favorite was between me and my mother after the birth of my first daughter:

Mom- You're looking great! You look like you've lost a lot of weight!

Me- Yes, i'm down all but the last 15 pounds.

baby girl begins to stir in my arms a bit.

Mom- Why don't you rock her in my new rocking chair?

Me- Great! Thanks Mom!!!

I begin rocking until we lean back and the entire back of the chair snaps in half as we lean back and go flying head over much for the weight loss!!!!

By the way!!! I love your blog!!!

wendy said...

Those were great stories. Are you really flat (tee,hee) Found you through Nikki crumpet and I'll be back

Yeah, I'm Still Here... said...

Oh, I do not like your SIL at all!

I'm not sure which is worse - your husband TELLS you your voice puts him to sleep or he just GOES to sleep when you talk, like mine... Nope, I think you win that one!

And ya gotta love the teenagers! They just don't think that far ahead do they? I got one of those myself! ;o)

(hopped over from Nikki's)

wenderful said...

I love it! My husband does the same thing. He always wants me to talk until he falls asleep. And its always when I'm reading a good book. I'm a crummy wife and make him fall asleep in silence. I'm sure you're nicer than me.

EADotCom said...

What a scream! I'm putting your site on my reader LOL

ladyfi said...

Funny post!

Sometimes these kind of conversations are actually good for our egos - in that they keep us grounded and humble... if a little bruised.

Came here via Nikki Crumpet.

Aileigh said...

Seriously? I have a little oversized boobs and would NEVER comment on someone being flat. That was really not nice at all! I can understand why you don't talk to her anymore. Meanie!

Michele said...

I came for a visit from Nikki Crumpet What a riot! I will be back for more visits! I'm adding you to my favorites if that's ok!?


Kelly said...

Yeah, I have a MIL that can be rude and obnoxious at times. I've had to let her go in one ear and out the other too. I think some people don't think before they speak. Glad to know I'm not the only one who is at the receiving end of this problem. Ha!

Blissful Babe said...

Omigosh! Too funny! I loved it!
Found you via nikkicrumpet!

BeeHappy said...

Cute stories....linked from nikkicrumpet :)

Sassy said...

I cam over from Nikki Crumpet and she's right about you having a fun kind of blog to read....I'm clicking on your following...I love stories like the were telling....I was teaching a Primary class one year and a new student said to me "what's your name" {he was about 6} and I said "my name is Sister Skinner" and he said "well you're fatter than you are Skinner"...I laughed because it was quick thinkin' and too funny!!! I have never forgotten him... a conversation I had with my mom once went like this...I said "I feel so fat and ugly" and she said "You're not ugly." Enough said... this was a fun post...

Connie said...

Oh, honey, came over from Nikkicrumpet's blog and yesssssss, I can top that one.

Son: mom have the police contacted you yet?

Me: K, don't ever call your mother and start the conversation with "mom, have the police contacted you yet!!!!!!"

Yep, chick, it definitely starts the adrenalin flowing.......It was an accident by the way. He ain't a cop killer!!


H.K. said...

Connie - That conversation with your son definitely topped mine. No one wants to hear, "Have you heard from the police yet?" That's just a converstion to start a heart attack!

Beck said...

Last summer, I was looking pretty good for me. I'd been working out like crazy. I was with my mom at her country club pool and she said, "You know you look the best you've ever looked. (wait for it)All you need now is a little lipo for your tummy. It's impossible to get rid of that tummy after you've had a baby."

My son is 10 by the way so I have not recently produced or delivered any babies.

Think I found you from blah blah blah blog.

Yaya said...

Oh those are great! How did you refrain from slapping your SIL??

And the girls w/ the stinky breath comment, gotta love kids!

But the best is your hubs saying you put him to sleep!

Auds at Barking Mad said...

That is hilarious! Especially the one about your hubby...and you still let him sleep in the same bed? *lol*

Linked over from Nikki's blog and I will definitely be back!