Learning to Drive: A True Fairy Tale Story

My life as a chauffeur is coming to an end! Let the count down begin! Before I get ahead of myself, let's start from the beginning, in the form of a fairy tale story....

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Moe. When he turned 14 years old and started high school, he felt older, wiser, & independent. Though his parents knew from experience that high school doesn't necessarily equate maturity, they were wise enough to let him believe that. There were three things that Moe was excited about high school:

1. Football (He was always too big to play Pee Wee football)

2. Driver's Ed

3. High School Girls (His parents were excited that girls were last on his list)


Moe was excited to be able to accomplish two of the things that made high school great. He was able to play football and he became friends with a lot of high school girls, but there was one goal that was still out of his reach, Driver's Ed, which he would have to take during his sophomore year. Moe's parents were excited, especially his mom who dreamed of one day being able to send him out to run her errands. Moe's father planned to send his son to the store late at night, to satisfy Moe's mother's monthly PMS cravings for "Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chunk" ice cream. Alas, the dream of having Moe becoming a driver would have to wait another year.

Many changes occurred during Moe's Sixteenth year. His family moved, life became a little too stressful and there were other important things that needed more attention, than Moe learning how to drive. When Moe's family started to settle into their new home, his parents agreed that it was time to have him apply for his driver's permit. Moe reviewed the material he learned from Driver's Ed the year before and believed he would "ace" the test....he didn't.

Moe reviewed the items that he missed, took a few practice tests on line and passed all of them. Two weeks later, his mother took him to the DMV, promised to take him to his favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner, if he excelled. They all believed he would pass...he didn't. His parents wondered why he failed the test, because they saw him studying diligently, until they saw a few of his answers to these questions:


Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.


These were not the questions or answers to the DMV test that Moe took, but his parents were surprised by some of the dumb questions on the test. To Moe's parents, it seemed that the person who wrote the test must have been anal retentive. But, that's not the point of this story to complain about the stupidity, silliness, and uselessness of some of the questions, this is about Moe, because it would be another several months before Moe got the nerve to take the test the third time.

Moe's mother took him to the DMV and wished him luck. It took Moe thirty minutes to take the test. He took his time answering each question, often re-reading the question several times before he answered. When he completed his test, he took his test and gave it to the DMV lady to be corrected. As he saw her take out her red pencil, sweat started to trickle down his forehead as the DMV lady started to mark a few of his answers incorrectly.

He knew that if he missed more than eight answers on the test, he would have to wait another few more months before he could re-apply to take the test. As the DMV lady marked off six answers wrong, Moe's life as a non-driver flashed before his eyes. He had visions of being the only senior in high school not having a driver's license and even worse, his dad driving him and his date every where and he's 25 years old!

Moe's hopes dwindled with each mark of her red pencil and then when it reached number eight, his shoulders slumped and he started to accept his fate, until the DMV lady put her red pencil down, smiled and said, "Congratulations, you passed." Moe wanted to reach over the desk and give the DMV lady a great big hug, but instead looked for his mom, who was waiting on the other side of the office and gave her a big thumbs up!

This was indeed a cause to celebrate! They waited until Moe's father arrived home from work, and immediately went out to eat at Moe's favorite Chinese restaurant, "Debbie Wong." It was a joyous occasion for all, until Moe asked his father if he could drive home. His parents considered the question briefly and then his father said, "Why don't we have you drive in an area where there are no people or cars first."

Let's get real, the kid failed his test two times and barely passed the third time!

The End

funny DMV Q&A taken from richardpettinger.com